Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I'd imagine me in a Manchester Pub today. (football fans may know :p, the rest of you, enjoy it as self entertainment)
Me: Did you hear? I heard Fergie's tied up a deal for Riquelme.
Man Utd fan: Blimey, that's not so bad a catch.
Me: More than that, the bloke's quite good you know.
Man Utd fan: But what about the deal that Ruud's leaving?
Me: Nahh, won't happen. Fergie's never had this selection problem of strikers since 99. It's good like he says. I don't understand why Ruud's getting all upset, if thats what the media tells everyone.
Man Utd fan: True there, but you know big names, they all want to play a game.
Me: Saha's big too you know.
Man Utd fan: Meh, I don't know. I just hope we get a good midfielder. We certainly miss ol' Keano.
Me: Like I said, Riquelme's coming. Well hopefully. And maybe that Lyon guy... ermm.. Mahou...
Man Utd fan: I don't know his name either, but it ends with Diarra.
Me: Ahh yes, that fella's quite good I heard.
Man Utd fan: How about that Argentinian kid?
Me: Mascherano? Even better.
Man Utd fan: I'm sure... oh look, Ron's here.
Me: Rooney or Ronaldo?
Man Utd fan: Neither. It's Ruud's brother. Hey Ron! Have a drink.
Ron: Cheers mate.
Me: So tell me Ron. What was it like getting shot at by Rooney at the Newcastle game?
Ron: Frightening. I swear he was going to kill one poor bloke at the stands.
Man Utd fan: Hahaha, if he can do that at the World Cup, I wouldn't mind being the bloke.
Me: That's a good one. Pity Ruud didn't get his shot in at the back of the net.
Ron: Speaking about Ruud..
Man Utd fan: I heard he's got himself a new contract.
Me: Yeah.
Ron: That's true, but he's not going to sign it.
Me: *spills drink*
Man Utd fan: You pulling my leg there son.
Ron: I ain't. He told us yesterday he has no future at Old Trafford.
Me: That's bullshit.
Ron: I can't force you to believe if you don't think it's the truth.
Man Utd fan: Well, any reason why then?
Me: I'll tell you why. He's full of pride. He's getting all angry cos Fergie's going with Saha.
Ron: He's a proven striker, of cos he gets angry.
Me: Yeah, but not every player gets to play every game. Doesn't he know that by now? Goodness me.
Man Utd fan: True..
Me: In any case, if he goes, sorry Ron, but I'm gonna have to label your brother a coward and an idiot.
Ron: That's not very nice.
Me: It won't be. Cos Ruud getting to where he is, i'm willing to bet that he is not going to produce the same performance elsewhere. Cmon, 148 goals so far and 46 goals in 52 UCL matches. You don't get any of the sort anywhere else.
Man Utd fan: Hey mate, I think you better calm down. You got the bouncer looking at ya.
Me: I was going to leave anyway. Cheers mates.
*puts money on the bar and leaves*
hehehe, i would love to do that one day.
